There are a lot of misconceptions and myths that surround the mystified spirit that comes to women in the form of pain and hormonal fluctuations. The things you hear in the media and in cartoons are not blanket statments for everyone involved. Each person is different.
1) The low down on PMS
PMS gets such a bad rap. Someone is crabby and automatically they are PMSing. So not true. I am rarely crabby. I usually get crabby when people are idiots. Not because I have my Crimson Tide. I will admit, some people get INCREDIBLY irritable. It drives me nuts. Throw some ambien their way so that they sleep through it. Or just don't hang around them.
Before women get their period, hormones drop drastically. Thus the title of this section is the "low down" AH HA HA HA. Ok, I have to laugh at my own nerdy jokes, I know. Anyways, I am sure that everyone has had the drop feeling. Let me explain, has anyone ever had that dream of falling off a cliff and you jump in your sleep? How about being on a rollercoaster or other ride with a sudden drop? You know that feeling you get inside? Try imagining that with hormones. That is sorta what occurs. Everything is pretty much level and then it drops like a sack of heavy potatoes. This occurs usually before Aunt Flo visits. The drop in hormones is what tells the blood to start flowing basically. This sudden drop in hormones also causes a wide array of symptoms classified under the dreaded and feared phrase Pre-Menstrual Syndrome or PMS.
For some women, they become irritable. This is what the world around us protrays as the "classic" symptom. They show women, ranting about like they are going to chop someone's head off. Although some women are like this (I've seen it) this is not the typical scenario. Women will become more weepy, a little more on edge, and just have a shorter fuse in the inside. The woman you pass in the store today or the co-worker you sit next to every work day just might be PMSing and you don't even know it. Now you will look at her in a different way. Just watch. You are going to go to work and look at her and think, "I wonder if her hormones dropped today." Do us all a favor and don't ask her. That will be unwarranted and unwanted.
For me, I tend to just get more teary eyed. Thoughts of Dumbo's mom being incarcerated and Bambi yelling for his shot up mother in the fog seem to follow me everywhere. I might just start crying out of no where. If this occurs and you are around me, a hug would be nice. Hugs are always a good cure for the PMS blues.
Don't hug a psycho woman. You will not be well off after that. Let me repeat. Hugs do not cure psycho behavior. Only time does.
Some women also get physical complaints. They will state that they have bad cramps or a bad headache. I find that if you over hydrate before your period, your cramps are significantly better. My main issue is for a day, my back will be very tense and it will hurt. So will all my joints. I will also be super sleepy for a day. Midol is the miracle drug. I should make a song for Midol. Midol should pay me for putting a plug in my oh so famous blog.
Chart to help those understand.
I like charts. They help me.
I love this chart.
Heck, I love studying the whole menstrual cycle.
Yes, I am a freak.
And a nerd.
2) Cravings
Another misconception is that all women who have received the Monthly crave chocolate. Women crave a lot of weird stuff when their friend comes a callin'. Many women eat chocolate. Chocolate has natural happy stuff in it. Of course, and maybe I shouldn't be admitting this, but I will definitely use period sometimes as a way to eat chocolate guilt free.
I mostly though crave salt and protein. Like, I just want to take a hunk of beef and chow down. Just the other day I had like two tablespoons of peanut butter. It was so good. I wanted to eat the whole jar. My hips disagreed. I had to settle for the two tablespoons. I also love beef jerky. It is so good. I love the salt and the beef. Oh my gosh. I want some right now. Man, it is so good. So so good.
Some women will eat ice cream. Ice cream is good comfort food. My favorite ice cream will contain chocolate and peanut butter in some form. Moosetracks is a personal favorite. But when I'm on the rag, I go more for salty than I do for sweet.
3) What to do when a loved one has entered her monthly time.
Just love her or show you care really. That is all she needs. If she is crabby or irritable then just kinda let her be. Don't antagonize or try to pick fights. If a fight starts just know that she will be a little unreasonable. Let it go. You are not going to win and if you try to win you will ultimately lose in the end. Believe me, you will want to slap her, shake her, whatever to get sense into her mind. That will put you in jail. Just leave the room and let her rant it out. Its painful.
If you have someone like me who doesn't really get crabby but gets teary eyed, then again, just love them or care for them. Hug them and hold them. They might cry and cry. There might not be a rhyme or reason to them crying. It might be really "Nothing" behind those tears. Just random emotions that cannot be pin pointed. Hugs are good cures. Holding them is a good cure too. Soon they will be bouncing back to their random selves again in no time.
How long will this hell last? Again, it totally depends on the woman. If the girl is always PMSing chances are, she is just a jerk. You decide what you want to do with that. There is no way that a girl can crabby all the time and blame it on that. There is a personality thing that is happening. If she were a guy she couldn't blame it on hormones. She'd just be a prick. However, for girls like me, it is just a day of misery and then we're back to normal. Others have it more, lasting the whole time.
4) Facing the fact.
I was once embarrassed to buy my necessary items from the store. In fact, in the beginning, I would look around and wonder if anyone knew that Aunt Flo was staying with me. I felt like I had PERIOD written across my forehead in a purple permanent marker.
Then one day (not long after all this started) I realized that I am not the only girl who has period and that all girls get them. But I had to yet face my biggest fear...buying tampons, pads or anything to that nature...BY MYSELF! Mom would do it. I admit it. Mom did it for me. Dad on some occasions if he were going to the store at that time. Thank you Dad.
Well there came a time where I had to actually buy feminine products because no one could do it for me. I gathered my courage before I gathered my tampons. My heart was pounding so loud I thought everyone around me could hear it. Then tried to camouflage it with other useless items that I really didn't need at the time. A soda. Ketchup. Coffee. Pickles. Magazine. Socks. Mind you, this was the time before self check outs. All the cashiers (which was one or two) just HAD to be men right? Yep. So onward, soldier onward. I drew in a deep breath and piled the stuff on the conveyor belt all the while keeping my eyes down.
*beep*
Ketchup
*beep*
Coffee
*beep*
tampons
*Magpie breaths a sigh of relief while still maintaining non-eye contact with young male cashier*
*beep*
rest of items
Ok...mission almost accomplished. All I have to do is pay and then run. Pay and run. Pay and ru...
"Do you want any garbage stickers, stamps or our value item of the day?"
"WHAT??!?!?! NO!!!! I AM NOT ON MY PERIOd!!!!!"
Ok, that is what went through my mind. Not in actual life. Luckily my filter was turned to the on position and I did not yell that to the good cashier only trying to do his job.
"Um, uh, no that's ok. I'm good."
"Ok, your total is $whatever.00"
Pay.
Run.
Now, I don't care. I am all out there with my tampons. Yes, Young Male Cashier, I am a woman. I have my period. Hear me roar...rawr...
So here's to the a long life of monthly visitors. One of the many signs of my womanhood. Even if I could go for it being like two days instead of 4 or 5. And I could go without the aches.
Magpie.
