So this week is Nurse's Week. As many of you probably don't know I am a nurse. Yep, Magpie RN at your service. Also this week marks my one year anniversary as a nurse. AND I AM LOVIN' IT! And you know you are too.
In celebration of Nurse's week, I came up with a list of reasons why you should know *cough*date*cough* a nurse.
We are always on top of things.
Yes, as nurses we need to be ahead of the game. Anticipate what will happen next. This goes from anticipating a patients' need to what the doctor might order. As a result, we are prepared for what just might happen next. Why is this good in a relationship? Well, just think. You are sitting on the couch and you are about an inch away from needing a new bottle of your favorite Guinness (because that is what you drink) and you are debating whether or not to get up from the couch to get another one. All of a sudden, a bottle comes flying across the room and lands right next to you on the couch. TA DA! Instant magic. Or...is it anticipation?
We prioritize everything.
Everything we do is based off what needs the most attention and what is the most important thing to do first. Should I let the patient finish what he/she is saying or do I take this doctor's call? Should I give pain medication first or should I give the antibiotic? Which patient should I see first? Do I save the person who is coding or do I drink my coffee to survive? Cream or sugar first? How does this apply to a relationship? Well, if you are important to the nurse in your life (or the nurse that should be in your life) then you will be on the top of her/his list. She/he will drop what they are doing to answer your call. You will be on their mind all the time (not in a creepy way but in an endearing way). Basically you will come first. Or the coffee will. Depends on who is better.
We handle sharp objects with skill.
Do you know how many needles we handle in a shift? A whole lot. We draw up medications, inject insulin, lovenox, heparin et. al. into patients. We wield our tools well. Needle sticks are very rare now if you practice good sharps skills. We start IV's with the greatest of ease, unless you are bad at them. How does this help in a relationship? I...don't...know...but I am sure it will come in handy.
We speak a whole other language.
Nothing says "I love you" like "Tomorrow you will be having a Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter which will overlie the Superior Vena Cava. As a result you will be able to receive Total Parenteral Nutrition without the risk of phlebitis. In the meantime, your Vancomyacin to treat the cellulitis in your left lower leg will be running through the 20 gauge intervenous catheter." Or we could just say, "I love you."
We are very observant.
We need to always keep a vigilant eye out on our patients and their condition. They could rapidly turn into a code blue if it were not for the watchful eyes of the nurse. How is this helpful in the relationship? We pick up on things. Subtle little insignificant things. You'll like that.
We are always clean.
We have to be. With MRSA and C.Diff. and VRE and ESBL...we need to be to protect our patients and ourselves and our loved ones. So why is this a good thing if you are dating a nurse? Well, you all heard the saying, cleanliness is next to godliness. Therefore, if nurses are clean then they are cleanliness which makes them goddess (and gods). There. WALA! You are dating a goddess/god.
Alright, so I could go on and on about why you get to know a nurse (or date on) but I will leave it go for now. Nurses are great people. We are smart, we think quickly, we are quite the sociable bunch, and we love to help people. So in honor of nurse's week you should all go out and kiss a nurse. Especially this one...*MUAH!*
Ok, well you can at least hug us. We don't bite.
HAPPY NURSE'S WEEK FELLOW RN'S AND RN'S TO BE!!
Magpie
Dating for Dummies
er....men/boys.
1) Say what you mean.
You guys think you will hurt us if you do not tell us what you think we want to hear. Personally, I would rather you tell me that you never want to talk to me again and that you don't think that things will work out rather than never hear from you when I thought that everything was fine. That only leads to me thinking I did something wrong. It leads to wondering. Then you tell us that we over analyze. No, if you just said what you wanted to in the first place and didn't lead us on then we would be fine.
If you did not think the date went well and you did not have fun then say that you don't think it will work out. If you think the date went well and you want to date more and then say that. Do not say the latter for the former just to smooth things over. That just makes matters worse.
2) We hurt.
Get over it. We hurt. We will hurt if you say no. We will hurt if you say yes and then never call us. BUT! we will hurt LESS if you say no in the first place. We can then just move on to the next person. Stringing us along making us think that we did something wrong to cause you not to call back even though you said that you would makes it hurt WORSE. Just be honest with me. I won't cry in front of you. I won't beg you to stay. If one person is not happy in the relationship it just means that life will be hell. So why would I want that? BUT I would love to know the truth. It just makes things much easier than trying to think up the truth because you were fed lies.
3) Don't give us lines.
"You're awesome." "You're a keeper." "My buddies think you are a keeper." I don't care. Don't feed me the lines unless you really want to stay with me...unless you REALLY MEAN IT. And don't use the lines to get a date with me or a second date with me when it will not be any more than that.
Think of it this way, if a girl is fed lines like that on every date they went on and then nothing comes of it, how is that person suppose to know that that the next guy really means it? They don't. So now, the next guy comes along and he really truly means that I am awesome and a keeper and beautiful et. al. I can't believe him.
4) When to kiss.
Do not pity kiss me. Please. I'd rather kiss my rabbit. My rabbit at least will love me and like me the rest of my life. If I kiss you and you don't want me to, just stop me or do not kiss me back. Don't hug me. In fact just don't touch me. I'd be SO much better off knowing that you want nothing to do with me. Again, it is easier to get over.
5) Follow through.
Don't tell me you will do something and not do it. I would rather not hear that you are going to call me, stop by, text me, whatever than hear that you will and be disappointed later. If you say you will call, CALL. If you are busy CALL and say, "I can't talk for long. I just wanted to say hi." WOW. I will say it out loud and time it. "I can't talk for long. I just wanted to say hi." THAT took less than 5 seconds to say. The girl might say in response: "Ok, thanks for calling it made my day. I'll talk to you later. Bye!" That took another 5 seconds. Wait...you mean calling me when you are busy and using those lines will take 10 seconds out of your busy day? Wow. Just shows me that you don't have even 10 seconds to spend on me.
6) We have walls built.
Everyone has walls. They are built for reasons too. Mostly for protection. They are built strong and thick. It takes time to break them down. Do not expect the walls to come tumbling down after the first date, the second date, the first kiss et. al. If you are patient, you will slowly take each brick down until you have full range of the other person's heart. And when you do, be careful with it. You don't want another wall built in your name.
7) Trust is not an overnight thing.
Trust is built as a wall comes down. It takes time. You don't automatically trust every person who asks you out on a date. It just does not happen that way. We see how you act. We test you. When you complete what you say you will do and when you follow through on your lines, our trust builds. We do trust you. But it starts little and it grows. How fast and how big it grows is up to you.
Why am I writing this blog? Because I am sick and tired of men. You are all just not thinking. We feel. We do think about it. Maybe you all can forget about that date that you gave us a kiss but we don't. When you give us nothing to go off of, what do you expect us to do? Forget? No, we think, we wonder, we try to figure out what went wrong. What did we do? "Maybe I shouldn't have let him hold my hand." "Maybe I shouldn't have made that joke." "Maybe it was too soon to tell him my views on this that and the other thing." "Maybe I shouldn't have pulled that joke." "Did he think that I am after something?" "Does he think that I want him to spend tons of money on me?"
I am not high maintenance. I am me. I do not ask for much. I don't want money spent on me. I don't want fancy dinners. I don't want you to take me to far away destinations. I just want someone to be truthful, honest, sincere, and show that they care for me.
Meg
1) Say what you mean.
You guys think you will hurt us if you do not tell us what you think we want to hear. Personally, I would rather you tell me that you never want to talk to me again and that you don't think that things will work out rather than never hear from you when I thought that everything was fine. That only leads to me thinking I did something wrong. It leads to wondering. Then you tell us that we over analyze. No, if you just said what you wanted to in the first place and didn't lead us on then we would be fine.
If you did not think the date went well and you did not have fun then say that you don't think it will work out. If you think the date went well and you want to date more and then say that. Do not say the latter for the former just to smooth things over. That just makes matters worse.
2) We hurt.
Get over it. We hurt. We will hurt if you say no. We will hurt if you say yes and then never call us. BUT! we will hurt LESS if you say no in the first place. We can then just move on to the next person. Stringing us along making us think that we did something wrong to cause you not to call back even though you said that you would makes it hurt WORSE. Just be honest with me. I won't cry in front of you. I won't beg you to stay. If one person is not happy in the relationship it just means that life will be hell. So why would I want that? BUT I would love to know the truth. It just makes things much easier than trying to think up the truth because you were fed lies.
3) Don't give us lines.
"You're awesome." "You're a keeper." "My buddies think you are a keeper." I don't care. Don't feed me the lines unless you really want to stay with me...unless you REALLY MEAN IT. And don't use the lines to get a date with me or a second date with me when it will not be any more than that.
Think of it this way, if a girl is fed lines like that on every date they went on and then nothing comes of it, how is that person suppose to know that that the next guy really means it? They don't. So now, the next guy comes along and he really truly means that I am awesome and a keeper and beautiful et. al. I can't believe him.
4) When to kiss.
Do not pity kiss me. Please. I'd rather kiss my rabbit. My rabbit at least will love me and like me the rest of my life. If I kiss you and you don't want me to, just stop me or do not kiss me back. Don't hug me. In fact just don't touch me. I'd be SO much better off knowing that you want nothing to do with me. Again, it is easier to get over.
5) Follow through.
Don't tell me you will do something and not do it. I would rather not hear that you are going to call me, stop by, text me, whatever than hear that you will and be disappointed later. If you say you will call, CALL. If you are busy CALL and say, "I can't talk for long. I just wanted to say hi." WOW. I will say it out loud and time it. "I can't talk for long. I just wanted to say hi." THAT took less than 5 seconds to say. The girl might say in response: "Ok, thanks for calling it made my day. I'll talk to you later. Bye!" That took another 5 seconds. Wait...you mean calling me when you are busy and using those lines will take 10 seconds out of your busy day? Wow. Just shows me that you don't have even 10 seconds to spend on me.
6) We have walls built.
Everyone has walls. They are built for reasons too. Mostly for protection. They are built strong and thick. It takes time to break them down. Do not expect the walls to come tumbling down after the first date, the second date, the first kiss et. al. If you are patient, you will slowly take each brick down until you have full range of the other person's heart. And when you do, be careful with it. You don't want another wall built in your name.
7) Trust is not an overnight thing.
Trust is built as a wall comes down. It takes time. You don't automatically trust every person who asks you out on a date. It just does not happen that way. We see how you act. We test you. When you complete what you say you will do and when you follow through on your lines, our trust builds. We do trust you. But it starts little and it grows. How fast and how big it grows is up to you.
Why am I writing this blog? Because I am sick and tired of men. You are all just not thinking. We feel. We do think about it. Maybe you all can forget about that date that you gave us a kiss but we don't. When you give us nothing to go off of, what do you expect us to do? Forget? No, we think, we wonder, we try to figure out what went wrong. What did we do? "Maybe I shouldn't have let him hold my hand." "Maybe I shouldn't have made that joke." "Maybe it was too soon to tell him my views on this that and the other thing." "Maybe I shouldn't have pulled that joke." "Did he think that I am after something?" "Does he think that I want him to spend tons of money on me?"
I am not high maintenance. I am me. I do not ask for much. I don't want money spent on me. I don't want fancy dinners. I don't want you to take me to far away destinations. I just want someone to be truthful, honest, sincere, and show that they care for me.
Meg
Attack of the......
You know some people are too preoccupied with a zombie attack. There are books, videos, forum threads, great discussions on what to do during a zombie attack. There are even several movies out feeding into this perhaps irrational fear.
I remember watching "Dawn of the Dead" with my ex boyfriend (EBF). Afterwards we had an intelligent conversations.
"If we have a zombie attack, I decided that I'll go over to Gander Mountain."-EBF
"Oh?"-Me
"That way we will have enough ammo and guns to survive the attack. We'll go on the roof and bar the doors."-EBF
"Ok"-Me
"Yeah. I'll pick you up and me and J. (his friend) will protect you."-EBF
"Yeah, ok. I am going to sleep."-Me
"WHAT? Sleep?"-EBF
"Yes. Sleep."-Me
"Why? You'll get attacked!"-EBF
"Why run? Just get eaten, die and then you don't have to deal with it."-Me
Sounded fine to me.
Needless to say, he wasn't too excited with my plan. Neither was is friend whose plan was to head up into the far North of Canada or Alaska where zombies cannot survive. I don't mind cold and snow but there is no way I am going to voluntarily head North for a huge portion of my life. In snow. Sorry. I'll risk the viral laden bite.
My ultimate zombie plan? Stock up on bottles of wine and drink myself into total utter unconsciousness. Then every time I wake up I drink another bottle. Sounds like an excellent plan to me.
Honestly, people, what is the likelihood hat we will be attacked by zombies? There are so many other things that can attack s before zombies.
Black Friday Shoppers: These are not the normal shoppers They are professionals. They are the ones going into every store with 5 shopping bags slung over each shoulder. Not the small normal petite bags but the big 3x1x1 bags that they put maybe MAYBE a pair of jeans or a shirt in each huge bag. On their way in they hit everything and everyone in their mad dash for the clearance racks. EXTRA 75% off, baby!! They are the ones who will fight you to the death over that faux pair of alligator skin mid calf hell boots IN BLACK just because the store only has one size 6.5. I advise you to better protect yourself from these shoppers than zombies. My ultimate Black Friday Shoppers' plan? Sleep. There will be other sales another day.
Politicians: Fear them. They chase after you with a can that has a recycling symbol painted on it screaming "GLOBAL WARMING!" and "OVERPOPULATION!" They will suck your brains out with lies and empty promises. Liberal and Conservative alike, the minute they attack, they all look the same. They will have the same words spill forth from their lips and they will have the same thought on their mind: power. My ultimate Politician attack plan? Riot. Oh yeah...tear gas me baby! I'll be out there on the pickets and the sidelines protesting them. Woot.
Idiots: They are quite annoying. However, you mus be careful when judging idiocy. You do not want to write off the annoying intelligent people because you are being subjective When judging idiocy in the middle of an idiot attack, it is important to remain objective. Idiots are often distinguished from others as having an opinion concerning a topic that they really have no intellectual knowledge about. It is useless really to argue with them. Very rarely will they change their opinion. Instead you will become frustrated and in the end, become an idiot yourself. Aside from being obnoxiously annoying, an idiot attack is not harmful. I would not stand too close though. You might catch their stupid. My ultimate idiot attack plan? Remain above the masses with my beautiful intelligence well intact.
Men: You are especially susceptible if you look like the following: Beyonce, Shakira, Jenifer Love Hewitt, Angelina Jolie or if you are just pretty in general. They will swarm around and attack with lame pick up lines such as: "hi my name is Rick and on the Rick-ter scale you're a 10." or "Are you tired? Because you have been running through my head all day." or...and this tops all: "I am looking for a nice wholesome girl. You like you are wholesome. I can see it in your eyes." Uhhhhhh.....yeah. Some ways to avoid such attacks are: do not shower; look down at the ground at all times (oh hey! a quarter!); do not acknowledge; bite; punch; dress like a nun; and wear a ring on the fourth finger of your left hand. My ultimate Man attack plan?
Ok I actually do not have one. Man attacks actually aides me by providing an array of men to choose from. Like shopping. Black Friday shopping.
So there are certainly more attacks to plan for before you put together our ultimate zombie plan. These attacks are more likely to be realistic than zombies running rampant eating fresh human flesh. Yum. And, if zombies do attack, know that you can always join me in my alcohol induced sleeping. Just bring your own wine.
Over and out,
Meg
I remember watching "Dawn of the Dead" with my ex boyfriend (EBF). Afterwards we had an intelligent conversations.
"If we have a zombie attack, I decided that I'll go over to Gander Mountain."-EBF
"Oh?"-Me
"That way we will have enough ammo and guns to survive the attack. We'll go on the roof and bar the doors."-EBF
"Ok"-Me
"Yeah. I'll pick you up and me and J. (his friend) will protect you."-EBF
"Yeah, ok. I am going to sleep."-Me
"WHAT? Sleep?"-EBF
"Yes. Sleep."-Me
"Why? You'll get attacked!"-EBF
"Why run? Just get eaten, die and then you don't have to deal with it."-Me
Sounded fine to me.
Needless to say, he wasn't too excited with my plan. Neither was is friend whose plan was to head up into the far North of Canada or Alaska where zombies cannot survive. I don't mind cold and snow but there is no way I am going to voluntarily head North for a huge portion of my life. In snow. Sorry. I'll risk the viral laden bite.
My ultimate zombie plan? Stock up on bottles of wine and drink myself into total utter unconsciousness. Then every time I wake up I drink another bottle. Sounds like an excellent plan to me.
Honestly, people, what is the likelihood hat we will be attacked by zombies? There are so many other things that can attack s before zombies.
Black Friday Shoppers: These are not the normal shoppers They are professionals. They are the ones going into every store with 5 shopping bags slung over each shoulder. Not the small normal petite bags but the big 3x1x1 bags that they put maybe MAYBE a pair of jeans or a shirt in each huge bag. On their way in they hit everything and everyone in their mad dash for the clearance racks. EXTRA 75% off, baby!! They are the ones who will fight you to the death over that faux pair of alligator skin mid calf hell boots IN BLACK just because the store only has one size 6.5. I advise you to better protect yourself from these shoppers than zombies. My ultimate Black Friday Shoppers' plan? Sleep. There will be other sales another day.
Politicians: Fear them. They chase after you with a can that has a recycling symbol painted on it screaming "GLOBAL WARMING!" and "OVERPOPULATION!" They will suck your brains out with lies and empty promises. Liberal and Conservative alike, the minute they attack, they all look the same. They will have the same words spill forth from their lips and they will have the same thought on their mind: power. My ultimate Politician attack plan? Riot. Oh yeah...tear gas me baby! I'll be out there on the pickets and the sidelines protesting them. Woot.
Idiots: They are quite annoying. However, you mus be careful when judging idiocy. You do not want to write off the annoying intelligent people because you are being subjective When judging idiocy in the middle of an idiot attack, it is important to remain objective. Idiots are often distinguished from others as having an opinion concerning a topic that they really have no intellectual knowledge about. It is useless really to argue with them. Very rarely will they change their opinion. Instead you will become frustrated and in the end, become an idiot yourself. Aside from being obnoxiously annoying, an idiot attack is not harmful. I would not stand too close though. You might catch their stupid. My ultimate idiot attack plan? Remain above the masses with my beautiful intelligence well intact.
Men: You are especially susceptible if you look like the following: Beyonce, Shakira, Jenifer Love Hewitt, Angelina Jolie or if you are just pretty in general. They will swarm around and attack with lame pick up lines such as: "hi my name is Rick and on the Rick-ter scale you're a 10." or "Are you tired? Because you have been running through my head all day." or...and this tops all: "I am looking for a nice wholesome girl. You like you are wholesome. I can see it in your eyes." Uhhhhhh.....yeah. Some ways to avoid such attacks are: do not shower; look down at the ground at all times (oh hey! a quarter!); do not acknowledge; bite; punch; dress like a nun; and wear a ring on the fourth finger of your left hand. My ultimate Man attack plan?
Ok I actually do not have one. Man attacks actually aides me by providing an array of men to choose from. Like shopping. Black Friday shopping.
So there are certainly more attacks to plan for before you put together our ultimate zombie plan. These attacks are more likely to be realistic than zombies running rampant eating fresh human flesh. Yum. And, if zombies do attack, know that you can always join me in my alcohol induced sleeping. Just bring your own wine.
Over and out,
Meg
In 2009...
I resolve to:
1) Fold my clothes:
Yes, I am just that lazy...er...patient. I wash my clothes. I dry my clothes. But the folding part...well that can wait. I lay my clothes over the rocking chair in my room and walla...perfect until I have to wear them. Then out with the iron to get rid of wrinkles. I hate wrinkles. HATE.
It isn't that I don't like folding. The whole process just takes time. I do not like to take that time to do it. I would rather move onto the more important thing of life like working, taking photos...or blogging.
Ironing, however, is a dangerous task for the Magpie. Yes, if I must Iron I do so. However, I have a problem with Irons and clothing. I tend to burn my clothes. :( It is really not my fault. I start at a low setting. However, someone before me manages to screw up the iron by making it dirty with whatever it is dirty with. So my clothes get this nice brown stain on them. I also have a tendency to use too high a setting for my clothes. There was one time that I was getting ready for a band concert. It was really a special concert considering we were going to a university to play before judges and then have a clinic with the university director. Me being me, I wanted to look my best. So I pulled out my skirt which really didn't need ironing and thought it would be best to iron it. Well, it was a cheaply made skirt that needed a low temperature setting. About an hour before I had to be at the high school with my brother to catch the bus, I put the iron to the black skirt.
SKIIIISSSSSSSS....
Shoot.
Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot.
I tentatively lifted the iron off my only band skirt. Against the stark black was a nice white hole where the ironing board cover peeked through. I stared at it in ghastly wonder. What. The. Heck. Was. I. Going. To. Do. Maybe..just maybe that 3 inch in diameter circle would hide when I put it on. Unfortunately, it did not. In a panic I flew down the stairs. I met my brother at the bottom and he looked at my face a knew something was wrong.
"What happened?"
"Um....I just burned a hole in my skirt."
"WHAT??? How bad is it? Can you hide it?"
I showed him.
"Oh my gosh...what are you going to do?"
"I DON'T KNOW!"
"You gotta go tell mom."
"Oh man."
Mom sent me right away with dad to get a skirt which we were able to find and still make the bus. Thank goodness.
To avoid any further burning problems, I think it will be wise to fold my clothes. Oh and hang them up. I will probably end up having to iron anyway but hopefully not as much.
Chances that I follow this resolution?
4 in 10 chance.
2) A picture a day
Keeps critics at bay. I guess. Not that I have any critics. Only me. I am my biggest critic. My goal is to become better at my favorite hobby: photography. So I decided to do Mission: 365. It will be a photography project. I need to take one creative picture a day and post it on my flickr account. By the end of the year I will have 365.
Chances that I follow this resolution?
9/10
3) Keep the weight that I lost off
So as I chow down on chips and creamy dip, I write this resolution. At least the chips are mulitgrained. Multigrained? Multigrain? Grain of mulitple proportions? I can no longer make a resolution to lose weight. I have very little weight left to lose. So here I am. I need to KEEP it OFF. Exercise. Eat right. Woot!
Chances that I follow this resolution?
10/10
I never NEVER ever want to be as big as I was. That is for sure.
So in this New Year what do you resolve to do?
Happy New year to all my readers. Hope that you and your family have the best of luck and all that jazz.
Magpie.
1) Fold my clothes:
Yes, I am just that lazy...er...patient. I wash my clothes. I dry my clothes. But the folding part...well that can wait. I lay my clothes over the rocking chair in my room and walla...perfect until I have to wear them. Then out with the iron to get rid of wrinkles. I hate wrinkles. HATE.
It isn't that I don't like folding. The whole process just takes time. I do not like to take that time to do it. I would rather move onto the more important thing of life like working, taking photos...or blogging.
Ironing, however, is a dangerous task for the Magpie. Yes, if I must Iron I do so. However, I have a problem with Irons and clothing. I tend to burn my clothes. :( It is really not my fault. I start at a low setting. However, someone before me manages to screw up the iron by making it dirty with whatever it is dirty with. So my clothes get this nice brown stain on them. I also have a tendency to use too high a setting for my clothes. There was one time that I was getting ready for a band concert. It was really a special concert considering we were going to a university to play before judges and then have a clinic with the university director. Me being me, I wanted to look my best. So I pulled out my skirt which really didn't need ironing and thought it would be best to iron it. Well, it was a cheaply made skirt that needed a low temperature setting. About an hour before I had to be at the high school with my brother to catch the bus, I put the iron to the black skirt.
SKIIIISSSSSSSS....
Shoot.
Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot.
I tentatively lifted the iron off my only band skirt. Against the stark black was a nice white hole where the ironing board cover peeked through. I stared at it in ghastly wonder. What. The. Heck. Was. I. Going. To. Do. Maybe..just maybe that 3 inch in diameter circle would hide when I put it on. Unfortunately, it did not. In a panic I flew down the stairs. I met my brother at the bottom and he looked at my face a knew something was wrong.
"What happened?"
"Um....I just burned a hole in my skirt."
"WHAT??? How bad is it? Can you hide it?"
I showed him.
"Oh my gosh...what are you going to do?"
"I DON'T KNOW!"
"You gotta go tell mom."
"Oh man."
Mom sent me right away with dad to get a skirt which we were able to find and still make the bus. Thank goodness.
To avoid any further burning problems, I think it will be wise to fold my clothes. Oh and hang them up. I will probably end up having to iron anyway but hopefully not as much.
Chances that I follow this resolution?
4 in 10 chance.
2) A picture a day
Keeps critics at bay. I guess. Not that I have any critics. Only me. I am my biggest critic. My goal is to become better at my favorite hobby: photography. So I decided to do Mission: 365. It will be a photography project. I need to take one creative picture a day and post it on my flickr account. By the end of the year I will have 365.
Chances that I follow this resolution?
9/10
3) Keep the weight that I lost off
So as I chow down on chips and creamy dip, I write this resolution. At least the chips are mulitgrained. Multigrained? Multigrain? Grain of mulitple proportions? I can no longer make a resolution to lose weight. I have very little weight left to lose. So here I am. I need to KEEP it OFF. Exercise. Eat right. Woot!
Chances that I follow this resolution?
10/10
I never NEVER ever want to be as big as I was. That is for sure.
So in this New Year what do you resolve to do?
Happy New year to all my readers. Hope that you and your family have the best of luck and all that jazz.
Magpie.
Matchmaker Matchmaker find me a catch
or.....do it yourself ;)
1) Smile.
Even the ugliest girl in the world lights up when she smiles. Genuine smiles bring twinkles to eyes. And if you walk around randomly smiling imagine the looks you will get! Don't worry, they REALLY aren't thinking, "Wow...she's nuts." "What the heck is she smiling about." They are thinking, "Wow...she's got a great smile." And when the look around they are not trying to find what you are smiling at. They are trying to make sure no one else sees you so that you will be ALL theirs. :D Oh and they are definitely not looking at the strawberry seed stuck in between your two front teeth. Just think of that seed as smile enhancement. Smile on girlfriend!
2) Hair Toss
There is nothing better than a good hair toss. All you have to do is grab a tuft of hair...and then throw it out of your face. Let those locks flow loosely. It will drive a man nuts. Make sure you are grabbing your hair and not his. Oh and if you are grabbing his hair, you are either way too close for a hair toss or you are dating a guy with long hair. If that floats your boat go for it. I am not one for long hair though.
Speaking of long hair, the hair toss is especially effective if you have longer hair. However, do not toss your hair if the guy is two feet behind you and you have three feet of hair. That would make him hate you. No man wants a mouth full of hair. Neither would I. He might take it as a sign that you are telling him he needs more protein. No man wants to know his flaws right off the bat.
If you use Herbal Essence it makes the hair toss more fun. The smell radiates off it and permeates the whole room. I wonder if you drink Herbal Essence it will have the same effect...
3) Talk to him
It's ok. He won't bite. I promise. He looks scary. He looks like he will break you in half....with his eyes....but he can't. That would be unlawful. He'd go to jail. And if he is a good guy, he will be all for staying out of jail. Don't shake. If you start to shake your whole body will shake and then your voice will shake and then it will break and he will think you are singing to him. Just make little bits of eye contact and talk. Focus on him. Join in. Don't stutter. No one will understand a word you said.
Keep your knees loose...you don't want to faint. Do some random knee bends before talking to him. That is good. Pick up an invisible pen off the floor. Then go up and talk to him.
If you say something stupid...laugh...chances are he is not walking away thinking, "Wow...that was the worst conversation in the world." It is more like, "She can laugh at herself. That is self confidence."
Remember....breath...air is a good thing. Oxygen is your friend. Wait...slow down your breathing. Don't hyperventilate. You'll faint. Then they will take you to the ER and you will wake up fine. And then you REALLY feel like an idiot.
4) BEEEEEEEEEEEEE yourself.
Honestly, ladies, do you really want to act like someone else for someone you like? Sure he might like you back but he really not like you. He will like the fake you. Then you have to act the whole time you are with him. It is way too much work. Hey if you are up for the challenge I guess you can go for it. I am lazy. I want the guy to like me for me. He doesn't have to like EVERYTHING about me. I am annoying. Everyone is to some extent. You get over it though.
Plus, do you really want to end up in a psych ward for something that you really don't have? If you end up suddenly changing from fake girl to real girl then you might be put there for sudden altered mental status, drug detox or sudden personality change.
5) Blushing is ok.
Girl, that is a natural response. Don't comment on it. It will make you redder. Oh and if someone else mentions it don't dwell on it. Oh and don't lie...it is blushing...you did not get wind burn when the wind is blowing at negative 12 MPH outside. Just blush and be down with it. Try not to think about it. It will make you embarrassed and then you won't focus on the task at hand....interaction. DO NOT and I mean DO NOT tell him you are blushing. That is awkward. Furthermore, do not excuse yourself from interaction. Blushing is not an excuse. Your face starting on fire is an excuse. Blushing is not. Play it cool. Continue interaction. Then when the interaction is over, go hide.
6) Have fun
It is not everyday that you get to have your heart flutter and your knees quake. Butterflies in your stomach is an awesome feeling. Let it happen. Enjoy it. It is awesome. Even if it doesn't work out in the end, it was fun right?
Ok, so if it doesn't work out you are crushed and yeah it hurts. But it is ok. That is why it is called a crush right? There are like...a bazillion guys out there. Someone is bound to turn up and your crushing will start all over again.
So here's meeting people and trying out the techniques. Don't worry, I have tested them and they all work without fail.
Ok, actually I lied. I have not tested them. But nothing is saying that you can't! GO FOR IT! WOOO!! In any situation, happy dating. Go get 'em tiger...and all that jazz.
Till next time,
Magpie
1) Smile.
Even the ugliest girl in the world lights up when she smiles. Genuine smiles bring twinkles to eyes. And if you walk around randomly smiling imagine the looks you will get! Don't worry, they REALLY aren't thinking, "Wow...she's nuts." "What the heck is she smiling about." They are thinking, "Wow...she's got a great smile." And when the look around they are not trying to find what you are smiling at. They are trying to make sure no one else sees you so that you will be ALL theirs. :D Oh and they are definitely not looking at the strawberry seed stuck in between your two front teeth. Just think of that seed as smile enhancement. Smile on girlfriend!
2) Hair Toss
There is nothing better than a good hair toss. All you have to do is grab a tuft of hair...and then throw it out of your face. Let those locks flow loosely. It will drive a man nuts. Make sure you are grabbing your hair and not his. Oh and if you are grabbing his hair, you are either way too close for a hair toss or you are dating a guy with long hair. If that floats your boat go for it. I am not one for long hair though.
Speaking of long hair, the hair toss is especially effective if you have longer hair. However, do not toss your hair if the guy is two feet behind you and you have three feet of hair. That would make him hate you. No man wants a mouth full of hair. Neither would I. He might take it as a sign that you are telling him he needs more protein. No man wants to know his flaws right off the bat.
If you use Herbal Essence it makes the hair toss more fun. The smell radiates off it and permeates the whole room. I wonder if you drink Herbal Essence it will have the same effect...
3) Talk to him
It's ok. He won't bite. I promise. He looks scary. He looks like he will break you in half....with his eyes....but he can't. That would be unlawful. He'd go to jail. And if he is a good guy, he will be all for staying out of jail. Don't shake. If you start to shake your whole body will shake and then your voice will shake and then it will break and he will think you are singing to him. Just make little bits of eye contact and talk. Focus on him. Join in. Don't stutter. No one will understand a word you said.
Keep your knees loose...you don't want to faint. Do some random knee bends before talking to him. That is good. Pick up an invisible pen off the floor. Then go up and talk to him.
If you say something stupid...laugh...chances are he is not walking away thinking, "Wow...that was the worst conversation in the world." It is more like, "She can laugh at herself. That is self confidence."
Remember....breath...air is a good thing. Oxygen is your friend. Wait...slow down your breathing. Don't hyperventilate. You'll faint. Then they will take you to the ER and you will wake up fine. And then you REALLY feel like an idiot.
4) BEEEEEEEEEEEEE yourself.
Honestly, ladies, do you really want to act like someone else for someone you like? Sure he might like you back but he really not like you. He will like the fake you. Then you have to act the whole time you are with him. It is way too much work. Hey if you are up for the challenge I guess you can go for it. I am lazy. I want the guy to like me for me. He doesn't have to like EVERYTHING about me. I am annoying. Everyone is to some extent. You get over it though.
Plus, do you really want to end up in a psych ward for something that you really don't have? If you end up suddenly changing from fake girl to real girl then you might be put there for sudden altered mental status, drug detox or sudden personality change.
5) Blushing is ok.
Girl, that is a natural response. Don't comment on it. It will make you redder. Oh and if someone else mentions it don't dwell on it. Oh and don't lie...it is blushing...you did not get wind burn when the wind is blowing at negative 12 MPH outside. Just blush and be down with it. Try not to think about it. It will make you embarrassed and then you won't focus on the task at hand....interaction. DO NOT and I mean DO NOT tell him you are blushing. That is awkward. Furthermore, do not excuse yourself from interaction. Blushing is not an excuse. Your face starting on fire is an excuse. Blushing is not. Play it cool. Continue interaction. Then when the interaction is over, go hide.
6) Have fun
It is not everyday that you get to have your heart flutter and your knees quake. Butterflies in your stomach is an awesome feeling. Let it happen. Enjoy it. It is awesome. Even if it doesn't work out in the end, it was fun right?
Ok, so if it doesn't work out you are crushed and yeah it hurts. But it is ok. That is why it is called a crush right? There are like...a bazillion guys out there. Someone is bound to turn up and your crushing will start all over again.
So here's meeting people and trying out the techniques. Don't worry, I have tested them and they all work without fail.
Ok, actually I lied. I have not tested them. But nothing is saying that you can't! GO FOR IT! WOOO!! In any situation, happy dating. Go get 'em tiger...and all that jazz.
Till next time,
Magpie
Now class...what did you learn today?
Well this week was lesson week for Magpie.
1) Your car is not a safety zone.
You are not invisible in your car. I can see you pick your nose. That is just disgusting. Don't do that. Singing and dancing will provide entertainment not only for you but to other drivers around you. When you act like a rockstar in the car, everyone sees you. They do not think you are a rockstar. They think that you are crazy. But that is ok, we all know that you are not crazy. Well maybe a little. At least you are not THAT crazy. If you dance just be aware that you will get some interesing stares from your neighboring drivers. However, don't let that bother you. Dance on, Queen, dance on. They will never forget you even if you don't know them. Nice, huh? Maybe in a way you are a rockstar.
2) Water is an important entity to life.
Skimping on your water for a week is not a good idea. You will be all shirveled and gross feeling. You lips will be ready to fall off. Trying to catch up by bolus dosing yourself with 2-3 liters a day is also not good. You will be spending most of your time trying to find the nearest bathroom because you kidneys are really going to kick in. You will float away. Yeah, hypothetically not literally but you get the picture.
Water is also very important for bathing. Perfume and body spray can only cover up so many days worth of filth before you actually need to shower. Soap is useless without water. I suggest lathering up with plenty of water. Mind you I didn't put this to the test but I could mention a list of people who really need to recognize this fact.
3) Remember your parking spot.
Ok this wasn't from this past week but it is still an important lesson yet for me to learn. It is important to look competent when at your workplace. Especially if the workplace involves the lives of human beings. Losing your car in a 4 level small parking garage is not very encouraging to the people around you. Furthermore, when you still cannot find you car after covering the levels of the parking garage you really should sit down and think. When you finally find your car, it is important to note where the exit is. It really looks stupid if you go in a circle on yellow level three times because you cannot find the exit on blue level. Also, how you end up exiting on green level one floor beneath blue level is beyond me but good job. If anyone catches you, it is good to laugh it off. It will just put them at a little more ease when they see you walk into their room with an angiocath to start their IV.
4) Frozen Water is not an important entity to life.
In fact, it can be downright detrimental. The fact that you slipped once on a thin sheet of invisible ice just might be a hint or warning sign that you should slow down. I am sure that you do not want to land on your butt...twice. Instead, take it slow. People are watching you even when you don't realize it. It is better to be slow and sure rather than make a complete fool out of yourself and slip...twice.
1) Your car is not a safety zone.
You are not invisible in your car. I can see you pick your nose. That is just disgusting. Don't do that. Singing and dancing will provide entertainment not only for you but to other drivers around you. When you act like a rockstar in the car, everyone sees you. They do not think you are a rockstar. They think that you are crazy. But that is ok, we all know that you are not crazy. Well maybe a little. At least you are not THAT crazy. If you dance just be aware that you will get some interesing stares from your neighboring drivers. However, don't let that bother you. Dance on, Queen, dance on. They will never forget you even if you don't know them. Nice, huh? Maybe in a way you are a rockstar.
2) Water is an important entity to life.
Skimping on your water for a week is not a good idea. You will be all shirveled and gross feeling. You lips will be ready to fall off. Trying to catch up by bolus dosing yourself with 2-3 liters a day is also not good. You will be spending most of your time trying to find the nearest bathroom because you kidneys are really going to kick in. You will float away. Yeah, hypothetically not literally but you get the picture.
Water is also very important for bathing. Perfume and body spray can only cover up so many days worth of filth before you actually need to shower. Soap is useless without water. I suggest lathering up with plenty of water. Mind you I didn't put this to the test but I could mention a list of people who really need to recognize this fact.
3) Remember your parking spot.
Ok this wasn't from this past week but it is still an important lesson yet for me to learn. It is important to look competent when at your workplace. Especially if the workplace involves the lives of human beings. Losing your car in a 4 level small parking garage is not very encouraging to the people around you. Furthermore, when you still cannot find you car after covering the levels of the parking garage you really should sit down and think. When you finally find your car, it is important to note where the exit is. It really looks stupid if you go in a circle on yellow level three times because you cannot find the exit on blue level. Also, how you end up exiting on green level one floor beneath blue level is beyond me but good job. If anyone catches you, it is good to laugh it off. It will just put them at a little more ease when they see you walk into their room with an angiocath to start their IV.
4) Frozen Water is not an important entity to life.
In fact, it can be downright detrimental. The fact that you slipped once on a thin sheet of invisible ice just might be a hint or warning sign that you should slow down. I am sure that you do not want to land on your butt...twice. Instead, take it slow. People are watching you even when you don't realize it. It is better to be slow and sure rather than make a complete fool out of yourself and slip...twice.
5) Chocolate is really not that great.
Ok, this is not true. There is no way that this can be true. No way. Chocolate is totally awesome! It makes your brain think, it is rich in antioxidants. Chocolate is really great.
6) Chocolate is really great.
Oh....yeah.....:cool:
7) Parting on the right rather than the left produces better results.
One side of my head looks better than the other. It is just the way that I have to use my hands to style my hair. The right side is more awkward to manipulate. So the less hair to work with on that side is easier to deal with rather than have a whole bunch of hair. The left side is easier so if I do everything for that side then everything will be a-ok.
NEW TOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeppers Yeppers!!!!
Magpie's got some new toys :D :D :D
Two new lenses, an IR filter and a new camera bag :D
Woot
Magpie
Magpie's got some new toys :D :D :D
Two new lenses, an IR filter and a new camera bag :D
Woot
Magpie
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