Kick your heels together three times...

...and pray you don't fall.

There is nothing like growing 4 inches magically with the help of your best pair of heels. Considering that today was "Wear Heel Day" in Magpie's world, I decided that today's blog post will be dedicated to them.

My first pair of heels actually came from asking my dad. I was nervous. I don't know why I was nervous. I guess it was one rite of passage that I was afraid of asking my parents for the key. So I turned to dad for help.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Could I have a pair of high heels?"

So off shopping we went. Mom, Dad and I went to a bunch of different stores. I guess you could call me picky but I had a particular look in my head. I knew that pointed toes would not work for me. I would look ridiculous. It had to be square toed or rounded. Also, the heel had to be chunky. I knew there would be no way I could balance myself on a tiny little heel. Finally I could not see spending triple digits for a pair of shoes. So finding my style in my price was a tad bit hairy. But finally I found them. There they stood on the clearance rack. Plain. Black. Shiny. Square. Awesome. My first pair of black pumps.

Years later, after I learned to walk somewhat normal, I found that heels could be pretty and actually fun. So I began finding other pretty heels to wear. I fell in love with Willy Wonka's shoes from Charlie and the Chocolate factory. I liked the way they looked: the chunky heel, the toe, the style was just funky enough for me. After a long search, I found them. They were on sale at Carson Pierre Scott. I bought them and they are still considered my Willy Wonkas.

It recently became more and more difficult to find shoes that fit my funky style. I would go to DSW just to browse. I then came across a brand that fits me to a T. Mudd shoes really does fit my funky attitude with its modern take on classic looks. Wing tip Mary Janes with a chunky heel? Yes! I love it.

For graduation, I for some reason had to get shoes to match the dresses I was wearing. I don't really understand that except for the fact that when I am wearing a spring time bright colored dress, my regular black heels won't do. Off to DSW with mom. Found shoes to match the dress (again, Mudd brand) and tada...my collection is complete.

Then my old black heels started to show years of wear and tear :( I still have them hoping to salvage what I can of them. But I did manage to somewhat replace them with another Mudd shoe that is just as professional. So. There we have it. No more shoes for me :)

Now, you'd think that after 11 years of heels, I'd be a professional at walking in them. Or at least somewhat decent. Nope. Although I haven't fallen, I have tripped, slipped, and twisted over a dozen times. Hilarious for some, embarrassing for me. It is sad when you have to give yourself a pep talk as you walk across a stage.

"Ok, Magpie, don't screw this one up. Walk tall, straight, and pretend like you don't have heels."

*first step is taken*

"Ok, new game plan. Realize that there are an extra 2 inches on your heel."

*second step*

"Good....good...now, try to not clack so much."

*third step*

"Um, don't look so goofy"

Lets just thank God that I get to wear gym shoes to work everyday :)

Magpie.

Water water everywhere but not a drop to drink.

So today I went swimming. Unlike most of my swim times, I decided to ponder on the water I was swimming in. I came to realize again that my favorite property is the property of water. Yep, good ole' H2O. Why other property of the world is as diverse and awesome?



Without water, you could die. It is essential to keeping the body functioning. Dehydration could send you to the hospital. Which, if unless it is a way to see me, I would rather you not go to the hospital. Being dehydrated is not fun. You feel all gross on the inside. Whenever I haven't gotten my daily dose of H2O orally, I can imagine my poor tiny cells all shirveled up and screaming for relief. Then I can imagine them sighing with joy as I splash some water down my throat.

My favorite part of water is the playfullness of it. I think this is why I like swimming so much. I am weightless in water. I love being able to split it with my hand just to see it join back together. It is so easy for me to imagine all the little water molecules laughing as my hand push them foward in a gentle curling wave.

Water is so graceful. It ripples and it drops in with such beauty. I think this is why I like to be outside in the rain. I love the feeling of the drops on my face as I look up at the grey sky. It is like a shower that washes both my skin and my soul. I love watching the rain fall onto the ground and puddle into nature mirrors that reflect the world around me.

It is so diverse. On hot days, there is nothing like sucking on an ice cube or putting said ice cubes in a tall glass of water. When I have a cold and my nose hurts like no other, warm steam from water soothes it. There is nothing like walking outside in the foggy mist. The clouds that descend from the sky are refreshing and add mystery to my day.

So water, here's to you. You are just awesome. I really do believe that you are my favorite element here on earth. I know that without you I would totally not survive. Thank you.

Magpie.

Don't Be Mad...Get Glad

Are there just times that you want to punch a wall? How about poke someone in the eye?



Yeah, we all have our days. Even me. Don't worry. It means that you are human and that you are alive. However, it is important to channel all this negative energy so that it does not hurt you or someone else. Sure, you can do the normal, everyday diffusion like, journaling or shooting stuff off. But, you can also take a creative (and safer) approach to your daily debriefing.



Here are some examples from Magpie:



1) Boogey on down now:

Dance in your room when no one is watching. Sometimes this is enough to brighten a sour mood or just to take your mind off of whatever is causing you so much grief. Any music can do, pick your favorite dance tune and get jiggy wit it. I personally enjoy some dance/techno/house to dance to. Just whatever will take your mind off of things.



2) Listen to music in your car....loud.

It is preferable to go somewhere without a noise restriction. Recieving a ticket will not help your day. And you will have to debrief from your ticket reception. And you might want to shoot the cop. Both are destructive to the cause. If you turn up the bass and sit back the whole car vibrates and thus will vibrate your very soul. Then the vibrations take all that negative feelings of hate, depression, anger, frustration and shake them out into the atmosphere.



3) I scream. You scream. We all scream for Ice Cream.

Ok, don't eat out of frustration. Gaining 15 lbs of frozen dairy goodness is just going to add more weight to the problem (no pun intended if one can be taken). Instead, in that same location of the blessed car, go to a secluded location. Shut all your windows and doors. Then let a scream out. Swear if you want. Tell that person off in your car. Pretend they are in front of you. Now don't you feel better? Yep, I do.



4) Rippin' Rags

We all could use a little extra rags around the house. You know, to clean, and dust, and wipe things with. Take those old clothing that charity won't even take and rip them apart with your bare hands. No sissors allowed. Just rip.



5) Exercise

Nothing makes you hate life more than a good hard run. And at least you will hate life because you are running rather than because Joise two cubicles over read your personal emails and printed them for the office to see.



So I am sure that everyone will have their own personal ways to diffuse their inside soul. Mine might not work for everyone, but it sure works for me.



Magpie

Lessons and Carols

So this past weekend was Lessons and Carols at my old university. Lessons and Carols consists of nine readings from Scripture about Christ's birth. They are readings from Old Testament and New Testament. After the reading, an appropriate carol is either sung by the choir or played by the band (me) or both. There ya have it, Lessons and Carols.

This got me to thinking, what are my nine personal Lessons and Carols?

Lesson One: Check bathroom signs before entering bathroom.

I don't know what my problem is. Maybe somewhere tucked away in my Id (HI SIGMUND!) I desire male hood. Maybe I just want to see the inside of the boys bathroom...multiple times. Hopefully (and I am betting on this one) I am just too preoccupied with what is going on around me that I just don't look at the signs.

The first time this occurred, I was on a date. I needed to use the restroom and didn't check the sign. Well of course, I come up to the urinals with puzzled bewilderment. Why are these tiny toilets doing in the women's bathroom? I tried to work through this issue, coming up with all sorts of reasons. Finally, I found one. OH! It is for the children when the mom brings them to use the bathroom. Half satisfied with this solution, I head for a stall. I didn't understand it but whatever. It wasn't until I was washing my hands that I realized where I was. The water still running, I look at myself in the mirror with horror in my eyes. It hits me, I am in the wrong bathroom. The door opens and I say the most sincere prayer, "PLEASE don't let this be a man." Sure enough it was and sure enough I was out of that restaurant before anyone knew what had happened.

It happened again after my NCLEX. I think I was just brainwashed at that point. And I didn't enter the full bathroom. Just the threshold. Then I turned around and scared the guy coming in. I had to ride the train home with this complete stranger who now knew me as, Wrong Bathroom Girl. He was cute too. Ultimate loss.

The last time it happened before I learned my lesson, I was in Ireland. The little stick figure had an ivy leave over the person so I thought it was a dress and I thought it was a girl. I did the same time, used the bathroom. It wasn't until I stepped out and faced a row of urinals that I realized what had happened. I shot out of there quicker than a jackrabbit out of a bush of cougars. There's a picture for ya.

Now let everyone stand and sing, "Man! I feel like a woman!"

Lesson Two: Fake Numbers are the way to go.

There was one time that I was out with some friends bar hopping. I was DD because I didn't want to drink. Surprising I know. I had drank way too much the previous night and really didn't want to do a repeat night. So there I would be, taking pints of H2O while my friends drank shots and pints of EtOH. I was approached by multiple people. The first one was someone straight out of Laverne and Shirley.

This is what he looked like:

He gave me some fake line about being a friend to the owner or how the owner owed his buddy money so he was here to help collect it. So how does this coincide with you trying to get my number? Fake line calls for fake number: My number is 630-678-9654.

Next bar some drunk dude starts talking to me.

"Oh hi, what's your name?"

"Magpie"

"Oh, what do you do?"

"I am a nurse."

"Oh, where do you work?"

"Edward"

"OH ME TOO!"

mmmmhhhhmmm, yep you do.

"You do?"

"Yeah, I sell the monitors that you guys use."

"Oh. Ok."

"Yeah, so I just broke up with my fiancee and moved here from New York..."

Oh man, here goes...

"...and I don't know too many people. I am looking for a wholesome girl and you look like a wholesome girl. I can see it in your eyes. Can I have your number?"

Cheesy lines deserve fake numbers: My number is 708-965-6598

Few bars later, my friends and I end up at our last bar.

"You should smile more often. You light up every time you smile. I like it when you smile."

Aw, that is sweet...you are way too old, like 50 year old too old. My number is 633-695-9875

Now let us all stand and sing: "The Call"

Lesson Three: Live in the moment and don't think too much.
Oh man, this is the hardest lesson for me to learn and it is on going. I totally over think EVERYTHING. Like, if I did something that offended someone. Or if I completed everything I was suppose to at work. Or if I really do this or that, I am going to repel people with the weirdness I exude.

STOP!

Stop thinking. If things are meant to go a certain way they are. Otherwise, it is out of your control. Why worry over something you cannot control? You'll kill yourself.

Live for the moment. Do those somersaults. Catch those snow flakes on your tongue. Dance when there is no music. Sing as loud as you can even if you are off key. Smile to those you don't even know. Laugh when there is nothing to laugh at. Go star tipping. If you don't know what that is then look it up. It is these little moments that we will treasure forever. It is these moments we will never forget. They are by far, my favorite moments. I replay them in my head almost constantly.

Now let us sing...er...rap Eminem's Live for the Moment.

Amen. Amen.

Magpie