PACK YOUR BAGS AND CALL ME SALLY!

Random topic of the night

How long does it usually take you to get ready to go away for extended periods?

hmmmmmm

First off I'd have to ask myself,
"Magpie, you are going on a extended trip."
"Wait...what? I am?"
"......yes....."
"OH MY GOSH I HAVE TO PACK!"
"duh" <_<

Ok...let me try this again...
"Magpie, now that you know that you are going on an extended trip, what are you going to pack?"

Well, how the heck did I afford an extended trip? Was I exiled? Oh my goodness...what did I do? Did I offend anyone????? No no I didn't hurt anyone. Maybe I smell. No, I showered. I know I can't afford an extended trip. I went shopping.

When I was shopping I love to walk through the aisles like I am riding in a car. I walk really close the the clothes and I touch every article of clothing that I come across. AND if I see something impressively cool to look at I touch it. I need to feel it. I like to get the full experience. I am kinda like Patrick in that one episode of Spongebob where they go the jellyfish convention. Touching everything. I have to try when I go to the glassware aisle. That is a dangerous place for Magpie. Usually I have someone to steer me away. The other day I was in Target and I saw a chair on display. It was one of those arm chairs. I thought, hm...I have nothing else better to do. So I went to the chair podium thingy and climbed up and sat in the chair. I sat there for a few minutes pondering the comfort level of the chair. Yeah, it wasn't worth it. Not comfortable. It wasn't something that I'd like to curl up and sleep in. So I moved on.

Things that I learned from touching objects in stores:
-If I dress is heavily sequenced then it is most likely very heavy to wear.
-If a shirt looks awesome and I totally want its cuteness yet it feels like sackcloth...it is probably the best bet to pass it up.
-If it says glass...it will break.
-If it says ceramic...it will break...even if it looks cool.
-Not everything that looks plastic is plastic.
-Sometimes mannequin clothing are not secured...it is best to find the clothing on a hanger
-Comfort is in the eye literally.
-Sometimes the mannequin are not bolted to the floor
-Do not run. It is futile
-If something is way out of your league money wise and you really think it is unfair...it is NOT a good idea to wipe your nose in it.

So yeah, because of the above list, I will not be going on any extended trips.

But I guess I could dream that I was going on an extended trip...


*IMAGINATION*
Where would I go....
Europe?
Jamaica?
Chicago?
extended trip...means....a long time....I'll say that I am going to Europe. That way if I get kicked out of one country, I could always flee to another. :)

So if I were going to Europe on an extended trip, the first thing I would pack is a toothbrush and some toothpaste :)

Yum. I can't go without brushing my pearly whites...er....yeah. I hate the feeling of plaque on my teeth. I am always afraid that I feel a cavity starting. All I think about is the plaque eating away at the enamel layer of my teeth.

Second thing I would pack is my glasses/contacts. I am as blind as bat. Maybe that is why I feel the need to touch everything. Subconsciously I think that I will lose my glasses/contacts and will need to rely on touch instead of looks. However, I don't rely on looks as of now anyway so I guess touch would not matter. I have a very bad sense of fashion. Jeans and a t-shirt. Or a regular t-shirt with no words if I am going out. Or a tank top. I am plain Jane when it comes to fashion. Ick. But I digress don't I? Ah, heck, I digress no matter what.

What's next....my camera. Can't go anywhere without my camera. I need to take pictures for you folks :)Shampoo and conditioner. My hair needs to look fab for my mug shots in London when I try to get the guards to smile. I won't moon the guards. I am thinking that I can do other things and the guards will smile. Like, talk to them. Must get lonely not talking to anyone. I'd maybe tell them a story of me doing something completely normal to me but not to them and then I'd see the ole' smile. Then I would run around London screaming "I MADE A GUARD SMILE AND YOU DIDN'T HA!" Then I would flee for Ireland :)

Clothing. I figured for underwear I would bring all my holey pairs. that way I don't have to bring them back. I'll just throw them away. More room for all the rocks I want to bring back. But underwear is expensive! Maybe I should just to a patch job and repack them. Or wash them in the bathtub.

One time when I was in a hotel I thought that it would be a good idea to use the Whirlpool bathtub to wash my clothes. I mean it was better than doing it by hand right? So I turned on the water and used the soap and let me clothes get all bubbly. It was great. Until the nice cleaning lady set out the sign: "Please no soap in the jacuzzi"

Ooops.

I think I'd bring sunglasses too. That way when I watch people, no one knows I am staring at them. Creepy? No, I just would rather look at you when you are knowing that I am. Makes you more uncomfortable? Sorry, I am curious.

I would probably bring my hanky too. That way when I run out of EtOH funds I can set out my hanky and do a dance for some loose change in front of musician or something. Seeing as I am such a poor dancer, I am sure that someone will throw some pity cash/coins my way. I hope. That would rock my world.

What am I forgetting....I forgot. I don't know. I am starting to get tired so I will probably end this here.

Good night all, more brownies await my digestion.

Mags

BTW, Chesty McNuggets and Midnight Prowler, your nicknames make me smile and laugh, gold star to you two. I didn't think I would get names like when I asked for names.

GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!

Hey, do you guys have any questions that you think you'd want me to answer? I'd gladly answer them :)